Oh the ironies of life. Last week, I posted about wanting to eat a steak raw with my hands, bloody, and raw. And this week I felt so backed-up from too much meat that I went vegetarian for most of the week. I rarely go vegan. Eggs are a constant in my diet, but aside from the eggs, my diet has been vegan for most of this week.
I woke up last Saturday morning and I felt so full, like I needed to cleanse my body. After yoga (five hours in the hot room), two teaching and one taking, I drank a green juice then I came home and ate a piece of Ezekiel toast with avocado. That's a staple for me. Afterwards, I devoured some artichoke hearts and finished it with several tablespoons of Justin's chocolate hazelnut butter (pretty much the BEST THING EVER).
It was a meal of necessity. At that point I was drained of all of my nutrients. I took a nap and when I woke up, my plan to eat my weekly Bison burger didn't sound good. Actually, the thought of eating it was making my stomach turn. I am a little bit like a cat--habitual. I find foods that work for me and I eat them at the same time every week or everyday, depending on the meal. Food plagues me. I love it, but deciding what to eat and when has been a long progression for me. If it were up to me, and there were no health (physical or emotional) consequences, I would be such a glutton--truly!
Well, I say that because that is who I was in the past. But, in my heart and in my gut, I don't think that's who I am anymore. We get stuck in these ideas of who we are, but we are constantly growing and changing, evolving. It's so important that we learn to listen to our heart and know who we are versus who we were. I see so many people shoving themselves into the box of what they once were. Growth is hard. Sometimes, it means letting go of things we once loved friends, lovers, t.v. shows, parties, and...food! It's easier to stay the same, but when we grow, and ignore that growth, it can kill us to stay in the place we once were. It's better for everyone and everything if you let go and move forward. It's like a band-aid, just rip it off...Don't worry about who you might be hurting. Trust me, that pile of meat and cheese won't be crying over you.
Anyway, I am no longer a glutton. I've outgrown that facet of myself.
In my post nap haze, after deciding my bison burger was a big no!, I lay there thinking about my two favorite comfort foods--split pea soup and raw tofu with Brewer's yeast and Bragg's amino acids. I got up, walked across the street to this grocery store called A Matter Of Health, much like a smaller Whole Foods, and I bought these items. I came home prepared my dinner designed for my three year old self and was transported into another time and place.
I was raised on these two foods. My mom used to use soy sauce instead of Bragg's, but the taste is the same. Now-- I know there is some controversy about soy products, but I was raised on raw, firm tofu and I still love it. When I feel clogged, backed up and uncertain about what to eat I go straight for pea soup and tofu.
Not soft tofu. I can't stand my tofu soft. It has to be firm, the consistency of cheddar cheese. I cut it into cubes and douse it in Brewer's yeast and Bragg's amino acids. It's the perfect food. It brings me straight back to being three years old and sitting at the big wooden table in the kitchen of our farmhouse in Mcminnville, Oregon.
I would snack on my tofu while my mom made a big pot of split pea soup (vegetarian, of course) for dinner. These are the items I go to when I don't know what to eat, when my body is rejecting everything else these foods always satisfy my hunger and root me back into myself.
We all have those foods that bring us home. I am so grateful that because of my amazing mother mine are wholesome and hearty. She knew what the body needs before the whole world was telling us how to eat. My mom is an earth mother, a healer. She innately knows how to heal the body and she passed those traits onto me.
Staying connected to the Earth, getting out of our heads, off of our phones, and truly listening, not shoveling food mindlessly in, but connecting to that food, to our bodies is crucial to our health and happiness.
I've spent the rest of this week eating vegetarian, primarily veggies, and my body feels much better. I will go back to eating meat, but for now, this is what my body wants. As I said, it is always changing, we have to listen...
Tomorrow, I am off to Hawaii. The perfect timing! I will be living on fruit, the sea, and the sand!!!